The Perks Of Being Over 50
** People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
** No one expects you to run into a burning building.
** People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
** There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
** Things you buy now won't wear out.
** You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.
** You can live without sex but not without glasses.
** You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
** You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
** You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
** You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
** You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
** You sing along with the elevator music.
** Your eyes won't get much worse.
** Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
** Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
** Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
** Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
** You can't remember who sent you this