The Perks Of Being Over 50


** People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

** No one expects you to run into a burning building.

** People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

** There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

** Things you buy now won't wear out.

** You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.

** You can live without sex but not without glasses.

** You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

** You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

** You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

** You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

** You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

** You sing along with the elevator music.

** Your eyes won't get much worse.

** Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

** Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

** Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

** Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

** You can't remember who sent you this