Marriage Secrets:

My wife and I have all the secrets for making a marriage last:

** Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesday's, I go Fridays.

** We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in Cincinnati.

** I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

** I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

** We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

** She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

** My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now.

** She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

** She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"